A Young Couple

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fianc�e, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." "No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed. Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try.

The loving couple was finally married in a beautiful ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, woke his bride and without thinking, she immediately asks, "What on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"

The Sin of Lying

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Ten Things Not Found In Proverbs 31

Ten Things Not Found In Proverbs 31

by Kelly Harbaugh

Have you ever tried so hard to make things great for your family that you ended up frustrated, bitter, and snapping at every one of them? You know, something like, "Go away and be quiet, can't you see that I'm trying to be a good mother?" Did you feel guilty because you could not be the person you were trying to be? Great news! The world of being a wife and mother is no different that the world of everything else we do before God. We feel guilty because we are guilty, and we need Jesus to fix that. There is no "special section" of God's word that does not require his grace to fulfill it in our lives. That includes Proverbs 31.

I have viewed many reader comments describing the various books published about the Proverbs 31 woman. Above all, my favorite is, "It read like a car repair manual." Let us not forget that our number one priority is to be a disciple of Christ. If we read these verses as a "how-to" manual, we will always fail. Always. God's ONLY repair instructions have always been to come into the fullness of his grace daily and let him perfect us.

The little bit of research I have done has indicated that Proverbs 31:10-31 was actually an acrostic poem that most Jewish women would memorize. It was a guide to Jewish men on finding a good wife. Well, what things in these verses could a man actually evaluate BEFORE he married the woman? I'm thinking he probably would not be looking at a woman who was already married with children, so he couldn't observe all of these specific daily tasks. He could however, pay attention to the beginning verse where she is titled a "wife of noble character." Could it be her character that is being described?

This passage describes a woman who "fears the Lord," who "speaks with wisdom" and has "faithful instruction" on her tongue. She is a generous woman with a strong work ethic who does not get anxious about the future. A woman cannot possess all of these characteristics together apart from a daily walk with God. A great listing of the works that flow out of this character are also listed in this passage. It is a beautiful picture of what a husband will see in his wife when she fears the Lord and how beautiful she will look to him. ("Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.")

Unfortunately, we tend to get this backwards most of the time. We say, "If you can do all of the things on this list, you will have become a wife of noble character." If that wasn't enough, we add a whole list of other requirements that we assume are included. After all, she is superwoman; if she works so hard, her house must be spotless and her family must be angelic. I have got an idea. Let's not try to add to God's word and make it better. I think he did a good job the first time.

The following is a list of the 10 verses NOT found in Proverbs 31:

1. Her coffee table never has dust on it.

2. Many have eaten off her kitchen floor.

3. Better Homes and Gardens just did a photo shoot in her living room.

4. She does all of the housework herself while the kids play Wii.

5. All of the words that flow from her children's mouths are blessed.

6. All of her children are straight A students, musical geniuses, and all-star athletes.

7. Her hair is always fixed perfectly and her make-up is artfully applied.

8. She does not touch make-up or hairspray because it is vain and the art of Satan.

9. She never makes a bad decision.

10. She is classroom mom, PTO President, the bearer of orange slices at soccer games, and the church committee queen.

It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But you know that you have added at least a few of these things on your list. Remember Martha and Mary? Which one do you think had a list like this in her pocket? Drop the scrub brush and grab a Bible. Sit at Jesus' feet and become a disciple. Let him give you his character, and you will have the one thing needed to carry out everything else.

As seen at http://www.godlywoman.co/2011/09/ten-things-not-found-in-proverbs-31.html

Ten Things Not Found In Proverbs 31

Ten Things Not Found In Proverbs 31

by Kelly Harbaugh

Have you ever tried so hard to make things great for your family that you ended up frustrated, bitter, and snapping at every one of them? You know, something like, "Go away and be quiet, can't you see that I'm trying to be a good mother?" Did you feel guilty because you could not be the person you were trying to be? Great news! The world of being a wife and mother is no different that the world of everything else we do before God. We feel guilty because we are guilty, and we need Jesus to fix that. There is no "special section" of God's word that does not require his grace to fulfill it in our lives. That includes Proverbs 31.

I have viewed many reader comments describing the various books published about the Proverbs 31 woman. Above all, my favorite is, "It read like a car repair manual." Let us not forget that our number one priority is to be a disciple of Christ. If we read these verses as a "how-to" manual, we will always fail. Always. God's ONLY repair instructions have always been to come into the fullness of his grace daily and let him perfect us.

The little bit of research I have done has indicated that Proverbs 31:10-31 was actually an acrostic poem that most Jewish women would memorize. It was a guide to Jewish men on finding a good wife. Well, what things in these verses could a man actually evaluate BEFORE he married the woman? I'm thinking he probably would not be looking at a woman who was already married with children, so he couldn't observe all of these specific daily tasks. He could however, pay attention to the beginning verse where she is titled a "wife of noble character." Could it be her character that is being described?

This passage describes a woman who "fears the Lord," who "speaks with wisdom" and has "faithful instruction" on her tongue. She is a generous woman with a strong work ethic who does not get anxious about the future. A woman cannot possess all of these characteristics together apart from a daily walk with God. A great listing of the works that flow out of this character are also listed in this passage. It is a beautiful picture of what a husband will see in his wife when she fears the Lord and how beautiful she will look to him. ("Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.")

Unfortunately, we tend to get this backwards most of the time. We say, "If you can do all of the things on this list, you will have become a wife of noble character." If that wasn't enough, we add a whole list of other requirements that we assume are included. After all, she is superwoman; if she works so hard, her house must be spotless and her family must be angelic. I have got an idea. Let's not try to add to God's word and make it better. I think he did a good job the first time.

The following is a list of the 10 verses NOT found in Proverbs 31:

1. Her coffee table never has dust on it.

2. Many have eaten off her kitchen floor.

3. Better Homes and Gardens just did a photo shoot in her living room.

4. She does all of the housework herself while the kids play Wii.

5. All of the words that flow from her children's mouths are blessed.

6. All of her children are straight A students, musical geniuses, and all-star athletes.

7. Her hair is always fixed perfectly and her make-up is artfully applied.

8. She does not touch make-up or hairspray because it is vain and the art of Satan.

9. She never makes a bad decision.

10. She is classroom mom, PTO President, the bearer of orange slices at soccer games, and the church committee queen.

It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But you know that you have added at least a few of these things on your list. Remember Martha and Mary? Which one do you think had a list like this in her pocket? Drop the scrub brush and grab a Bible. Sit at Jesus' feet and become a disciple. Let him give you his character, and you will have the one thing needed to carry out everything else.

As seen at http://www.godlywoman.co/2011/09/ten-things-not-found-in-proverbs-31.html

Immorality Defiles the Church

It was reported in the Corinthian church (1 Cor. 5:1-8) that there was sexual immorality happening among them. Actually it was an incestuous relationship between a member of the church and his stepmother. This kind of relationship was completely forbidden by the Old Testament law (Lev. 18:8; Duet. 22:30) and also by Roman law. Paul used his phrase "his father's wife" instead of "his mother". The omission of discipline for the woman implies that she was not a believer. The church is responsible for disciplining only its members, not unbelievers.

This is rarely happening in the churches of today. Today you have almost anything going on, and no one gets disciplined. There could be several reasons for this..but one reason is that, ministers are wanting large churches, large crowds, a big name, and lots of tithes and offerings coming in.

Disciplining its members could cut out some big tithers, could cause some to quit the church and go elsewhere, or not go anywhere at all.

The reason immorality among members should be judged and disciplined is so that their soul may be saved..but in this day and age many pastors refuse to do this...and it just grows and grows in the church like a cancer.

The pastor and those in the church who know this is going on are going to be held accountable when their judgement day comes

..and I would hate to be in their shoes.

In 1 Cor. 5:9-12 it says that we are not even to keep company with sexually immoral people. Of course Paul did not mean the people of this world or unbelievers..he meant those you know are saying they are believers, they sing in the choir, they play instruments in the church, they usher, sometimes are associate pastors, or deacons, they could even hold the janitor job in the church. sometimes they could do nothing in the church except hold the pew down. If we know they are sexually immoral, even covetous believers, or extortioners, or idolater , a reviler, or a drunkard, we are not to keep company with them..and not to even eat with them.

Many will say we are not to judge anyone..they will use the words of Jesus.."judge not lest ye be judged." And Jesus is right we are not to judge those who are outside the church , but those who are on the inside of the Church we are to judge..Paul even says to put away from yourselves the evil person.

True revival cannot come to a church unless it has been cleansed.

Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees

Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees

by Mark Batterson

How you handle offense has the potential to make you or break you as a leader.

You will offend.

The only question is: who will you offend?

And you will be offended.

The only question is: how will you respond to offense?

As God expands your sphere of influence, you'll offend more and more people. It's inevitable. But there is a right way to handle it and a wrong way to handle it.

First things first: who are you offending? Some leaders are so afraid of offending people that they offend God instead. Let me tell you who you should offend: thou shalt offend Pharisees! That is who Jesus offended. And he did so regularly and intentionally. He could have healed on any day of the week, right? I think he chose the Sabbath to confront the Pharisees who couldn't see the miracle through the theological trees!

So go ahead and offend Pharisees, but while you're at it, make sure you aren't one of them!

How do you know? Well, read the Gospels and see the distinctives of Pharisaicalism. Self-righteousness is chief among them. Pharisees are low on humility and high on criticism. That critical spirit results in a focus on the letter of the law with very little room for grace.

Pharisees use, or I should say misuse, the Bible as a weapon.

And they have an uncanny habit of focusing on what's wrong instead of celebrating what's right.

They bring division instead of unity. The sow discord instead of peace. They aren't advancing the kingdom of God. They are actually undermining it by backbiting and infighting. And instead of building up, they tear down. That's the tip of the iceberg, but I think a pretty good caricature.

Can I just come out and say it?

If we quit fighting with each other and converted all of our sideways energy into forward motion, I think we'd win the world to Christ. But we've got to love each other first. After all, they shall know us by our love!

Now let me flip the coin...

Thou shalt offend Pharisees, but don't be offended by them!

Proverbs 19:11 says: "It is to the glory of a man to overlook an offense." Circle that promise.

The more offenses you overlook, the more glory!

If you get offended by an offense, you quit playing offense and start playing defense. And when you get defensive, you stop leading and start reacting!

I made a decision a long time ago that I don't play defense.

I have an advocate. His name is Jesus. And that's who I'm accountable to. And of course, all of us need human accountability, but it'll be to the people we're in relationship with.

We need to submit to the righteous rebuke of a brother and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. No one is above or beyond rebuke or exhortation.

But you also need to consider the source. Is it coming from a genuine spirit of love? Or is there a critical spirit or mean spirit? Is the rebuke a love offering or tough love? Or does it derive from wrong motives?

Do you know the person, and do they know you? Now, no matter who is doing the rebuking or how they are doing, if the rebuke is accurate, then you need to repent. But if it's not, don't swallow the poison. You need to shake the dust off your feet.

And whatever you do, don't become defensive! Play offense!

You need the emotional tenacity of Nehemiah who said to a couple backbiters named Sanballat and Tobiah: "I am doing a great work so I can't come down." Don't let anyone or anything bring you down! Let it steel your resolve! Don't get sidetracked by sideways energy!

Press on with the mission.

Press into the presence of God.

Play offense.

Mark Batterson is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C., a multi-site church and a leading fellowship in the nation's capital. Meeting in movie theaters and Metro stops throughout the D.C. area, NCC is attended by more than 70 percent single twenty-somethings. Mark's weekly podcast is one of the fastest growing in America. His book, In A Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day: How to Survive and Thrive When Opportunity Roars peaked at #44 on Amazon.com's best-seller list. He has just released his newest book entitled, Wild Goose Chase: Reclaiming the Adventure of Pursuing God. He and his wife Lora live on Capitol Hill. They have three children. Visit Mark at www.evotional.com/

Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees

Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees

by Mark Batterson

How you handle offense has the potential to make you or break you as a leader.

You will offend.

The only question is: who will you offend?

And you will be offended.

The only question is: how will you respond to offense?

As God expands your sphere of influence, you'll offend more and more people. It's inevitable. But there is a right way to handle it and a wrong way to handle it.

First things first: who are you offending? Some leaders are so afraid of offending people that they offend God instead. Let me tell you who you should offend: thou shalt offend Pharisees! That is who Jesus offended. And he did so regularly and intentionally. He could have healed on any day of the week, right? I think he chose the Sabbath to confront the Pharisees who couldn't see the miracle through the theological trees!

So go ahead and offend Pharisees, but while you're at it, make sure you aren't one of them!

How do you know? Well, read the Gospels and see the distinctives of Pharisaicalism. Self-righteousness is chief among them. Pharisees are low on humility and high on criticism. That critical spirit results in a focus on the letter of the law with very little room for grace.

Pharisees use, or I should say misuse, the Bible as a weapon.

And they have an uncanny habit of focusing on what's wrong instead of celebrating what's right.

They bring division instead of unity. The sow discord instead of peace. They aren't advancing the kingdom of God. They are actually undermining it by backbiting and infighting. And instead of building up, they tear down. That's the tip of the iceberg, but I think a pretty good caricature.

Can I just come out and say it?

If we quit fighting with each other and converted all of our sideways energy into forward motion, I think we'd win the world to Christ. But we've got to love each other first. After all, they shall know us by our love!

Now let me flip the coin...

Thou shalt offend Pharisees, but don't be offended by them!

Proverbs 19:11 says: "It is to the glory of a man to overlook an offense." Circle that promise.

The more offenses you overlook, the more glory!

If you get offended by an offense, you quit playing offense and start playing defense. And when you get defensive, you stop leading and start reacting!

I made a decision a long time ago that I don't play defense.

I have an advocate. His name is Jesus. And that's who I'm accountable to. And of course, all of us need human accountability, but it'll be to the people we're in relationship with.

We need to submit to the righteous rebuke of a brother and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. No one is above or beyond rebuke or exhortation.

But you also need to consider the source. Is it coming from a genuine spirit of love? Or is there a critical spirit or mean spirit? Is the rebuke a love offering or tough love? Or does it derive from wrong motives?

Do you know the person, and do they know you? Now, no matter who is doing the rebuking or how they are doing, if the rebuke is accurate, then you need to repent. But if it's not, don't swallow the poison. You need to shake the dust off your feet.

And whatever you do, don't become defensive! Play offense!

You need the emotional tenacity of Nehemiah who said to a couple backbiters named Sanballat and Tobiah: "I am doing a great work so I can't come down." Don't let anyone or anything bring you down! Let it steel your resolve! Don't get sidetracked by sideways energy!

Press on with the mission.

Press into the presence of God.

Play offense.

Mark Batterson is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C., a multi-site church and a leading fellowship in the nation's capital. Meeting in movie theaters and Metro stops throughout the D.C. area, NCC is attended by more than 70 percent single twenty-somethings. Mark's weekly podcast is one of the fastest growing in America. His book, In A Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day: How to Survive and Thrive When Opportunity Roars peaked at #44 on Amazon.com's best-seller list. He has just released his newest book entitled, Wild Goose Chase: Reclaiming the Adventure of Pursuing God. He and his wife Lora live on Capitol Hill. They have three children. Visit Mark at www.evotional.com/